what will monkey do?

sometimes a little brainstorming with a pal is needed to come up with the best solutions. my guest brainstormer is lyn the proprietress extordinair of cake or death (the ultimate eddie izzard fan site).

me: welcome lyn. would you mind reviewing the problems at hand while i write them on the chalk board.

lyn: i'd love to! problem 1 - you have you have tickets to eddie izzard's show in dallas that you don't need.

me: right!

lyn: problem 2 - i want to help care raise money for their relief effort in burma.

me: as you can see by the diagram i have made using colored chalk and bits of string, the solution is obvious.

lyn: yes...we raffle the tickets off to benefit care.

me: brilliant!!!

we'll go rest our brain cells while you read the rules of the game.

hypothetical question

let's say you are a small terrycloth primate with an extra pair of tickets to eddie izzard's june 5th show in dallas, but, you will not be using the tickets. the tickets are nice box tickets that you could probably sell them on e-bay for wads of cash. then again, you could give them to a friend or possibly, you could sell them at face value to a hypothetical stranger. so ask yourself: what would monkey do?

(any offers to purchase these hypothetical tickets will be ignored as will any begging friends coveting them.)

oh! wow! chow!

can you imagine my delight to find that chows's aïda mollenkamp has mentioned cooking with monkey as one of her top 10 favorite cooking blogs! what an honor to be listed on a favorite site with the sites i love to persuse and what a delight to see the always entertaining and informative david lebovits. yes that's him whipping up a few treats in the photo.

could the tv show "there's a monkey in the kitchen and he has a knife" be far off?

think about this

on this day in 1990 the world lost great creative mind and warm heart; jim henson. he brought kermit to life, gave him singing and dancing lesson and even taught him to ride a bike. just think about the legacy he's left behind.

know your buddhas - tara

the buddha of compassion, chenrezig, took a vow to relieve the suffering of all sentient beings, but, things were not going so well. he was alone, overworked, overwhelmed and frustrated. it's no wonder that he just broke down in a fit of hopeless tears. i would have too. but, one of his tears hit the ground and from that spot the beautiful tara manifested announcing that she was there to help chenrezig accomplish his aspiration. she sure knows how to make an entrance, doesn't she?

arya tara or jetsuma drolma as the tibetans call her, is not exclusive to buddhism. hindus consider her one of the mother goddesses. way back when, she vowed to always be reborn as a female until she vanquished every last bit of suffering in the world. (and you though oprah was an over achiever.)

like every good mother, she has an array of colorful manifestations - 21 to be exact - ranging from nurturing to wrathful. of course, what mom doesn't go a little wrathful from time to time when protecting their child?

why-oh is it cinco de mayo?

on this day in 1862 the mexican forces triumphed over the french in the battle of puebla. this didn't deter the plucky french. they went on to invade mexico city and install maximilian the first (le premier) as emperor of mexico. luckily, the french were run out of town in 1867 or everyone would be speaking french and tex-mex food would include crepes and stinky cheeses.

today would be a good day to brush up on your tomato dicing skills as you whip up salsa for your queso dip, guacamole and nachos. oooh la la - i mean ole!

know your saint days - st george

today is the day that everyone celebrates that plucky little dragon slayer, st. george. he's kept busy being the patron saint of canada and catalonia, england and ethiopia, georgia and greece, palestine and portugal, montegro, russia, serbia and china too. genoa probably has a salami named after him because he is also patron saint of that city as well a handful of other cities and burgs. just like other dragon slayers, he's a bit of an over achiever, so he's also patron saint for agricultural workers, archer, armourers, butchers, cavalry, chivalry, the brazilian football team, crusaders, equestrians,horses, the order of the garter (who ever they are) riders, saddle makers, scouts, and solders, yet he still makes time for a handful of diseases like lepers and leprosy, skin diseases in general, herpes and syphilis.

the english flag is flying outside 10 downing street in his honor today, but, think last years tribute in trafalgar square would be hard to top when 5567 broke the record for the world's largest coconut orchestra playing the monty python mass hit "always look on the bright side of life" prior to a screen of the classic film "monty python and the holy grail" while i know terry jones and terri gilliam conducted the proceedings, i am still unsure if london mayor ken livingston raised his coconut halved and joined in. i know i would.

kosher karnival

i'm all for celebrating passover and i have been known to partake in a carnival or two (providing the snacks are good and there are no clown in the vicinity). why has it taken so long for anyone to combine the two?

i can see it now. everyone enjoying the friendly competition of matzoh toss, beitzah on a spoon race, and the monor eating contests. kids will run themselves silly brushing up on the afikoman search skills while the teens will enjoy a good fright in the 10 plagues house of horrors. the crafts tent will be full of sculptures built of charoset and matzoth and vendors will hawk culinary delights like kosher corny dogs and mogen david spritzers. after a few moments in the temple shaped bouncy house, it'll be time for the children to puke and be taken home. could you ask for more fun?

if you're looking for a way to commemorate the years of slavery and arduous journey the jews made into exile in a little more upscale, you can always spend the holiday at a posh hotel.

how foolish of me

it's april fool's day and here i am without a witty post.please accept my apologies and enjoy and archived copy of my ever so entertaining column on the holiday that appeared in .net magazine in 2005. there a links, and some very attractive photos. i think you'll enjoy it - no fooling.

bad ducks and englishman: eddie izzard in dallas

god created the earth, the red sea parted and eddie izzard loosened the buckle of the bible belt a notch or two at the majestic last night. tackling the holy trinity of texas - god, jesus and football he corralled the boisterous dallas audience as he littered the stage with giant squid, spartans and a badger or two. so, basically, a good time was had by all.

i have to confess, i was charmed by the way mr, izzard physically manifested his characters in "shadow of the vampire" and "the cat's meow" and have been longing to see him kick off his heels and bring that presence to his stage show. yes, he does cut a fine line in tasteful pumps and girl garb, but, it was wonderful to see the added animation that accompanied his sartorial choice for the evening (jeans, t-shirt, a nicely tailored jacket and sensible flats).

i' won't offer a blow by blow description of the festivities. by the time i tapped out my missive, his material will have evolved into a new creature anyway. let's fact it, eddie izzard's shows are like life - you have to be there to experience it.

any questions?

____________________

update: (7 april 08)
other's posts about the show:
laura seewoester for pegasus news
rob clark for quickdfw
adam mcgill for d magazine
todd camp for ft. worth star telegram
robert philpot for ft. worth star telegram pop culture

get to know your organs - the appendix

once thought to be a vestigial organ that aided ancient primates with the digestion of grass and leaves, the appendix is now believed to be a safe house for intestinal bacteria. current data shows that this little organic noah's ark helps repopulate the intestines with healthy bacteria after a flood of illness or other natural disaster washes the intestines clean.

coming attractions

now that a month of list is dragging to a close, here's a list of my favorite holidays that next month in april.

1. national poetry month


2. national laboratory month


3. national grilled cheese month.(yes, a grilled cheese made with an iron counts.)
   

zzz...

three things i didn't do today because i slept late.

1. do my traditional dance to the dawn as the sun comes up.
   
2. have huge last sunday in may waffle breakfast for all my friends.
3. find the key to world peace.

fun facts - saturday

list of interersting tidbits about saturday.

1. it's the only day in the western calendar that comes from roman mythology. (it's named after the planet staturn that was named after the roman god saturn.)


2. for years, saturday morning was the time television stations devoted to childrens programming - specifically animated cartoon.


3. there are over 10 song named "saturday" and an oodle more with saturday in the title.


4. on a statuday in 1975, saturday night live first aired. (what a coincidence!)

excuses, excuses

three reasons why i have nothing to blog about today.

1. nothing happened.
2. i forgot.
3. the dog ate my blog post.

fun facts - bhutan

three interesting things about bhutan.

1. it's the newest democracy!
2. they write using tibetan script.
3. they have a snazzy on line library.
4. aside from gdp, they measure the gnh or gross national happiness.
   

happy prince kohio day!

this hawai'ian holiday and king kamehameha day on june 11th are the only two holidays dedicated to royalty in the united states. say, aloha to my list of favorite hawai'ian words i can freely use in conversations. (with bonus definition and it's skillful use in a sentence!)

1. mahalo - thanks - "mahalo for the snack!"
2. puka - hole - "theres a puka in my shopping bag."
3. pa'u - sarong - "everyone looks stunning in a pa'u."
4. iki - small - "mahalo for telling me there is an iki puka in my pa'u."

eggciting snacks

my list of post easter nibbles in my house.

1. egg salad
2. deviled eggs
3. marshmallow salad
4. girl scout cookie ice cream sandwiches
   

what's that smell?

to answer the question "what have you been reading?" here's my list list of what i have read recently and what i want to read.

1. the perfect scent by chanler burr about the creation of two perfumes. (read)
   
2. the emperor of scent again, by chandler burr about perfume and luca turin's adventure to discover how the sense of smell works. (reading)
   
3. perfumes: the guide by luca turin (will read - not published yet)
   

peep peep peep!

happy easter! easter means peep season, so, today's list - "peeps in the news"

1. top of the peep heap - chicago tribune
2. secret life of peeps - colorado springs gazette
3. we the peep'l - the advocat and wbrz
4. for peep's sake - usa today

special bonus - sweet easter peep post cards!

birthdays

my list of 3 famous people born today only one of which is still alive.

1. marcel marceau (1923)
2. williams shatner (1931)
3. chico marx (1887)
   

friday of goodness

it's world poetry day! here's a list of 3 subjects i'd like to see more poems about.

1. muffins
2. lawn flamingos
3. me

bonus haiku:

not stuffy or long,
the simple haiky is oh
so accessible

red sweater day

today would have been fred rogers' (of mr. rogers neighborhood fame) 80th birthday. in his honor people all over are celebrating sweater day today. here's my list of three things mr. rogers always did no his show.

1. sing a song
2. put on his sweater
3. tell a story

have a beautiful day!

(yes that's me and mr. rogers' sweater at the smithsonian!)

10+9

songs with 19 in the title from the later half of the 20th century.

1. hey nineteen by steely dan
2. nineteen forever by joe jackson
3. 19th nervous breakdown by the rolling stones

tibetan trio

three films that will give you a background on tibet.

1. tibet: a buddhist trilogy
2. cry of the snowlion
3. kundun
   

all these fine films are available at amazon.com

show me the green

in honor of st. patrick's day, here's my list of my favorite green things.

1. mint
2. kermit the frog
3. lime (key and persian)
4. glitter
5. tea leaves
6. avocado
7. basil
8. green tara

did and didn't

the list of things i accomplished today:

1. slept late.
2. meditated.
3. shopped for groceries.
4. blogged.
5. changed the cat litter.
6. took the trash out.
7. played an energetic game of feather on a string with my cat.
   

the list of things i did not accomplish today:

1. take a long walk.
2. bake a tasty snack for this week.
3. bring about world peace.
   

beware of the middle of the month

the ides of march. despite the fame that the ides of march get after that unfortunate incident with julius caesar in 44 bc, every month has an ides. it's just a fancy schmancy way of saying the middle of the month.

todays list is what's happened on the ides of each month -

1. 15 march - hp lovecraft dies in 1937
2. 15 april - the founder of sikhism, guru nank dev is born in 1469
3. 15 may - musician producer bian eno is born in 1949
4. 15 june - arkansas (pronounced arkhansaw) becomes the 25 state in american in 1836.
5. 15 july - st vladami the great day.
6. 15 aug ust - cook, author and first tv culinary personality julia child is born in 1912;
7. 15 september - sir alexander flemming notices a bacteria-eating mold (penicillin) growing in his laboratory.
8. 15 october - nasa's galelei spaceprobe cruises withing 112 miles of io - one of jupiter's moons.
9. 15 november - the national broadacsting corporarion radio network (or nbc as we know it today) starts wtih 24 stations in 1926.
10. 15 december - walt disney dies in 1966 before his head is frozen.
11. 15 january - the free wiki content, wikipedia, goes on line in 2001 and revolutionizes the way people get and share information.
12. 15 february - creator of jeff and akbar cartoonist matt gorening is born in 1954.
    

pi day!

happy pi day my friends.

to celebrate i'm making two lists!

a list of pi facts

1. if a pie's diameter is 1 a pies's circumference is pi (3.14).
2. pi is the spelled out version of the greek letter π.
3. pi is credited with being one of the most imporant mathamtical constant.
4. to find the circumference of a pie multiple it's diameter by pi.

pies i have made in the past year that i have written pi somewhere on the crust or topping.

1. pumpkin
2. key lime
3. lemon sour cream
4. apple
5. apple salt caramel
6. green tea cream (not one of my better ideas)
7. strawberry
8. pecan
9. pinach and feta

lucky or unlucky 13

a little list of facts about 13

1. triskadecaphobia is the fear of the number 13
2. sikhs consider 13 a lucky number
3. a rondeau is a poem with 13 lines.
4. a bakers dozen has 13 items.
5. the great seal of the united states there are 13 stars, 13 arrows and an olive branch with 13 leaves and 13 olives.
6. 13 is the 6th smallest prime number (one of my favorites)
7. you fans of the periodic table will know that 13 is aluminum's atomic number.

hey cookie!

on this day in 1912 juliette gordon low founded the girl guides. their name changed to girl scouts and become famous for their annual cookie sales and the inspiring troop 1500. here' the list of girl scout cookies i purchased this year.

1. thin mints
   
2. samoas
   
3. tagalongs

apple of my eye

in celebration of johnny appleseed day, here's the list of 11 apples i've eaten in the past 6 months.

1. northen spy (they make the best pie!)
2. gala
3. braeburn
4. jazz
5. golden delicious
6. pink lady
7. rome
8. fuji
9. granny smith
10. empire
11. honey crisp

know your buddhas - chenrezig

beloved in tibet and with the tibetan people in exile he may well be the most popular buddha in the of our time. please welcome my good friend chenrezig, the buddha of compassion.

you'll recognize him by his white color, the doe skin casually draped around his shoulders and his impeccable ability to accessorize. in addition to a snazzy array of golden jewelry, chenrezig is never without a wish fulfilling jewel cradled between the palms of his hands. luckily, he has two other hands to hold a beautiful rare kamala flower and a crystal mala. i must admit the effect is stunning.

also known as avelokiteshvara, the buddha of compassion has devoted himself to hearing the prayers of all suffering sentient beings. his six syllable mantra (om mani padme hung) is known far beyond the borders of tibetan where you can see it carved into stones, painted on walls and heard on the lips of pilgrims everywhere. his holiness the dalai lama, is considered the living manifestation of chenrezig, but, everyone is welcome to manifest at little compassion whenever possible.

1801, 1922, 1949

three things that happened on this day.

1. 1801 - first census taken in great britain.
2. 1922 - ghandi arrested
3. 1949 - thousands of tibetans were massacred during the unsuccessful uprising against the 10 year of occupation of lhasa by the chinese.
   

spring forward

daylight savings time begins and it's time to spring forward! i prefer a light free form spring tossing my hands in the air over my head and uttering a joyous and sincere "whee!" and i hit the to of the arc. still others prefer a little running head start before executing their spring. which ever you chooses, here are three things things you often hear on the day daylight savings time starts.

1. i missed church.
2. who's idea was this?
   
3. finally the clock on my car says the right time!

three daylight saving's time facts:

1. it was invented by william willet in 1907.
2. hawai'i doesn't observe it.
3. contrary to popularbelief daylight saving time does not save energy.

8 women i love.

i'm celebrating the centenary of international woman's day with a list of 8 women i admire.

1. julie taymor (can she direct or what?!)
2. jetsum peme (that's the dalai lama's sister)
3. mother theresa (she certainly walked her talk)
4. yeshe tsogyel (she might have been born in the 8th century tibet, but, she still counts)
5. sister helen prejean (very few people know she has a good sense of humor.)
6. mother ammachi (compassion in action topped with a hug)
7. my mom
8. all the other women i don't have room to mention.

prime objective

list of 7 people born today

1. maurice ravel (french composer)
2. tomáš masaryk (the first president of what used to be czechoslovakia
3. gene shalit (american film critic and hair style trend setter)
4. willard scott (amercan weather presenter)
   
5. tammy fay baker (late televangelist and mascara aficionado)
6. abigale and brittany hensel (american co-joined twins)
   
7. tim condra

list of my 7 favorite prime numbers (in no particular order).

1. 1999
2. 13
3. 101
4. 33331
   
5. 1299299
   
6. 324
7. 7
   

your request is my list!

becky from montana has requested a list of soothing sounds. so, for her, i present "six soothing sounds" a list in one act.

1. gentle spring rain
2. my kitty-cat purring
3. waves crashing into the beach (with option seabird accompaniment)
   
4. a gurgling brook
5. birds chirping at sunrise.
6. the sound a slice of warm toast makes when you first bite into it.
   

5 syllables

five five syllable lines (haiku starters?)

1. i thought the door shut
2. luxurious nap
3. my old trilobite
4. i would love some tea!
5. exploding glitter

feel free to compose the rest to the haikus yourself!

four on four

four ways to say four

1. quatre (en francais)
2. čtyři (czeck)
3. zhi (tibetan)
4. cuatro (spanish)

four ways to say march (the month)

1. mars (french, norwegian, icelandic, swedish)
   
2. marec (slovak)
3. marzo (spanish, italian)
4. březen (czeck)
   

three for 3/3

four people with birthday's today

1. rebecca schmitz
   
2. john william pecen
   
3. ira glass
   
4. miranda richardson

three important historical events that occurred today.

1. at&t was incorporated in 1885 in the state of new york.
   
2. mathatma ghandi started his famous fast is 1939.
   
3. the difficult to sing "star-spangle banner" was adopted as the the u.s. national anthem.

four country musicians with three word names. (two of which went to the same high school in dallas, texas)

1. robert earl keene
2. ray wylie hubbard
3. michael martin murphey
   

short listed

march 2nd in history (also know as texas independence day).

two in international events that occurred to day

1. moldova and uzbetksatn joins the united nations in 1992
2. vlladimír remek becomes the first czeck to go into space in 1976

two saint days that fall on march 2.

1. st. chad's day (church of england)
2. st jovinas day (catholic church)

march list-o-mania!

eden over at nablopomo decided that the theme for march is lists. i love a list as much as the next prmate, so, i'm going to give it a go and post a list everyday this month.

today's installment:

a list of lists about march - four things about march

1. three things everyone knows about march:

1. it's the third month in the western calendar.
2. it's 31 days in length.
3. it's named after mars.

2. three things you may not know about march:

1. it's one of three single syllable months.
2. it's named after the roman god of war, mars, not the planet.
3. it's it's one of 7 months that's 31 days in length.

3. things that that make me wonder "how do even know these three things about march?"

1. it comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.
2. it's month flower is the daffodile
3. it's month gem is the aquamarine.

4. three march 1st holidays.

1. beer day (iceland)
2. st. david's day (dydd gŵyl dewi sant as they say in wales)
3. independence day (bosnia & heregovina)