adventure alert

my bags are packed and i'm on the go! (as depicted by this lovely portraid of me by apelad) i'll be in china & tibet over the next few weeks and i hope to twitter from the roof of the world! catch my tweets at www.twitter.com/hi_im_monkey or maybe i'll post a little something here!

it started innocently...

i have a love/hate relationship with the term "children's book." what exactly is a children's book? a book for children only? written by children? young books that will some day grow up to be adult books? as children's book week draws to a close, i really don't have a better grasp on this conundrum. or is it an enigma? it's so hard to tell in this light.

i know writing specifically for a children's audience is a tough job and i have undying admiration for anyone who puts pen to paper and produces a story that delights readers or touches the heart and soul.

particularly close to my fuzzy little heart are authors of picture books. x-rays often reveal several picture book authors clustered around my left ventricle, each coaxing a rambunctious passle of words into a well behaved little story ready to inspire an illustrator to create new worlds. typing chickens, wolves living in walls or bongo-playing polar bears are rarely encountered in our daily lives, but they are alive, well and ready to come out to play at the flick of a page.

detectable by sonography are the chapter book authors working tirelessly just behind my right artria. like mad scientists, they construct their stories patiently, waiting for the day when an unsuspecting eye will fall on the words. photos will crackle, retinas will twitch and neurons will light up as the story is sucked into the brain and ... it's alive!!!! vistas from hobogen to hogwarts glow in the minds eye. ghost spring to life, mice dance and any number of alien life forms communicate in perfect english.

so, some may call these books "Children's books." but, let's face it, they are the literary world's equivalent to "gateway drugs." yeah, the first one may be free, they make you feel good, they expand you mind and transport you to other realities. sure, we all say that we can stop any time we want, it's just recreational, but soon, you have a library card, you've found out how to use the interlibrary loan system. you know every book store in any city you visit and can draw a map from memory of powell's books aisles. amazon apps are on your iphone and your ipod is full of audio books. you're consuming books on a regular basis. you don't even bother to hide them. cookbooks in the kitchen, poetry in the bedroom, picture books in your office and shelves and shelves of books all over your house. what about that book on the front seat of the car should you get stopped by a train or have to wait picking someone up at the airport. you share books with friends and talk about it openly. face it, it's an addiction!

for me, it started innocently enough with an abc book and a fairy tale here and there. but all too quickly it grew to a multibook habit. sure, my life has been fuller, i have learned and been entertained, i have escaped, i've expanded my horizons and seen the world from other points of view. but at what price? hours of eye strain, the occasional library fine, audiobooks when i take my morning constitutional. is that what we want for the children of the world? well is it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

recommendations:

daniel pinkwater always delights me. his larry series (illustrated by his talented wife) is a favorite. his chapter books are fun and more entertaining when you can listen to pinkwater himself read them on audio book.

coraline (with dave mc keen illustrations) and graveyard book, both by neil gaiman are perfect read-out-loud-books for long car rides or by the glow of a flashlight as you snuggle your sleeping bag. if you're driving the car or your batteries are dead, mr. gaiman can read to you via audio book. (side note: i love having an author read to me and an audiobook is much less expensive than hiring the author to follow me around. granted it might be nice to share tea and nibbles with gaiman during breaks, but, keeping pinkwater in tasty nosh would be a major undertaking. )

in preparation for my upcoming trip to tibet, barbara helen berger's book all the way to lhasa: a tale from tibet has been on my bedside table next to my constant companion, the gashlycrumb tinies by the late great edward gorey. he also illustrated a vast collection of books from hilaire belloc's cautionary tales for children to many volumes of children's verse by john ciardi. drop by for tea, and i'll read you some.

mo willems, the undisputed master of pigeon and knuffle bunny literature, rocks my fashion world with naked mole rat gets dressed. while dutch sneakers and fleakeepers, by calef brown continues the legacy started by polkabats and octopus slacks.

now, please pass me that book light and close the door on your way out, ok?

update:

is it any coincidence that cory dotorow mentions pinkwater's newest book the yggyssey on boing boing today? yes, yes it is.

that's odd

since i would write today's date as 5 may 2009, the significance of today almost passed me by. when the date is written as 5/7/9 it represents the first of 6 times that consecutive odd numbers will occurred in a date during this century. since the next time we have an odd day is in 90 years, i better whip up a few snacks and celebrate odd day while i can.

grilled cheese haiku

in honor of national poetry month and grilled cheese month:

two slices of bread
grilled to a golden brown
hides the molten cheese

happy pencil day!

on this day in 1858 hymen lipman of philadelphia received a patent for his revolutionary invention. by incorporating an eraser into a pencil he changed the course of pencil history!

mr. lipman sold his patent to joseph reckendorfer for $100,000 who subsequently took legal action against the venerable farber castelle for patent infringement. as a result of the supreme court ruled against him revoked the patent in 1875 saying it was not a new invention.

it is a mystery to me when securing a small rubber eraser with a ferrule (that's the little metal band) to the the top of a standard pencil became fashionable or if the myth of why so many pencils are yellow is true. still, i'm celebrating with a rousing chorus of charlotte's heartfelt vocal tribute to the #2 pencil.

happy pi day!

sing along if you know the words!

happy heart day!

however you celebrate valentine's day, i hope it's full of love and creativity... and a snack or two. i know mine is!

happy groundhog's day

i've brushed up on my weather prognostication skills using a groundhog and i've baked some snacks. i'm ready to celebrate groundhog's day!!!

every day is pie day!

according to the american pie council, today is national pie day! but around my house, every day is pie day! why not make one today... or some other tasty snack.

heart to heart

valentine's day is just a heartbeat away! if you don't have time to whip up your own arrhythmia doilies or carefully craft a card, you can still thrill your friends, lovers and strangers with a valentine or two from my personal postcard collection! quantities are limited, so, order now!

today's birthday shoe dilemna

tough choice - will i celebrate elvis' birthday in my blue suede shoes should i put on my red shoes and dance the blues in david bowie's honor?

let's dance!

holiday decorating tip

decorating with fragrant pine cones, colorful holly and charming candles is always fun until something bursts into flames. stock up on a few jaunty red fire extinguishers for the holiday season. you'll be glad you did.

i've captured this sentiment in a lovely holiday mug, just in case you know someone who might need gentle reminder.

happy pastry day!!

every year it lost in the shuffle. smack dab in the middle of the most food centric holiday season - nestled among the thanksgiving pumpkin pie, the hannaukha jelly donuts, the eiz ma’moul, and flood of christmas cookies you'll find national pastry day.

i'm a little dismayed that such a yummy holiday is not getting the attention it deserves. despite the good baking weather, autumn through spring is too snack centric to let this holiday shine. from halloween to new years, i find myself earlobe beep in sweet treats. then february ushers in the romantic season of chocolates, strawberries and the distinctive flavor of glue from licking all those valentine envelopes. chocolate bunnies, jelly beans and marshmallow chickens burst on the scene as spring is busting out all over.

the way i see it, summer is when this holiday can really step into the lime light. i won't dispute that this is traditionally snow cone and ice cream season (or hot cocoa season if you're in the southern hemisphere), but basically it's bit of a pastry wasteland.

ok, june is a pastry chef's nightmare with wedding cakes galore, but, unless you're committed to a serious schedule of wedding crashing, it's the start of the pastry dry spell. i think a nice pastry centric holiday in july or august would be just the ticket. i haven't nailed down a date yet. i'm thinking of a spontaneous holiday where you can just whip up a batch of profiteroles or a plate of cookies on a whim. then while singing the official pastry day anthem the treats are loving exchanged with friend and foe in a gesture of tasty goodwill.

i'm sure president elect obama has this on the top of his agenda. (i think i'm shortlisted for the position of snack czar!)

then again, every day is pastry day at my house,

enjoy whipping up some treats yourself!

• clotilde's fabulous and easy to make chocolate cake
• meringue kisses
• shortbread cookies
• panda cupcakes
• key lime pie (quick version too!)
• holiday fruitcake (the secret family recipe)
• amazing sour cream lemon pie
• rice crispie treats
• rock cakes
• craig's gran's apple crumble
  

black and white birthday

the sons of teddy roosevelt hold the dubious disctinction of being the first westerners to kill a panda 1928. subsquently, museums proudly displayed trophy pandas, but no zoological facility could boast hosting a live one of these gentle creatures. in the 1930's every explorer and his brother were clamoring to be the first to capture a live panda in china and tibet.  

all that stopped in 1936 when ruth harkenss returned from an expedition with what the ships manifest noted as a small black and white dog. the designer and socialite followed in her late husbands shoes to lead an expedition to tibet returning to the united states with not just a live panda, but a live baby panda who shared her stateroom! don't believe me?  check out exciting book the lady and the panda written by vickie constantine croke. 

now, let's break out the panda cup cakes and celebrate the 108th anniversary of ruth harkness' birthday! \

22 september 08

it's never to early to start thinking about your panda costume for halloween! 

it's always darkest before the dawn

to end national accordion month in style, i accompanied a friend to a late night accordion jam session. the air was still thick with the strains of lady of spain as we emerged form the club, loaded my friend's accordion into the back seat and headed home in the pre-dawn light. as you might imagine, such an occasion requires a celebratory detour to the donut shop to make the day complete. i was considering all the glazed creations and commenting on a tom waits tune that mentions doughnuts when i hear a crash and a car alarm go off. tires squeal as a dark late model sedan races off and we dash to the car. it was too late. glass was everywhere, the rear window was shattered and there all over the back seat of the car were two more accordions and a concertina.

just dropped in for a visit

unexpected guests can disrupt one's life. this little chap didn't just drop in, he plummeted from his nest high above my garden sometime last saturday night. since then, he's taken over the place. he has food delivered. he parties with the sparrows that drop by for the seed buffet i put out daily. he's set up his bedroom in the day lilies and a little lounge area on the side patio.

i thought he shared my love of interpretive dance as i watched him exuberantly leap, roll and flail about the garden. but, it turns out he was working on his flying. he's soaring to a height of a good 10 inches now. i strongly suggest the he work on his navigation and landing skills before he tests for his pilot's license.

he's getting his hopping up to speed too. just when i think he's on the other side of the garden, he shoots through the gate and escapes onto the drive-way of certain death. i don't think his trajectory is premeditated since most of his locomotion is haphazard at best. confused by the new cement-y landscape the feathered fugitive is easy to apprehend. these little expeditions tend to wear him out, so, i usually return him to his nap-nook some crafty avian pal fashioned for him from leaves, kleenex, twigs and a discarded wedding program from a local mega church. if he starts to redecorate (as some birds are known to do), i have no choice but to start charging him rent.

lydia oh lydia!

the winner of the two tickets to mr. izzard's concert revealed! it's lydia! she dropped by the cultured cup for a lovely chat and top pick up the 2 ticket (and surprise valet parking pass) for mr. izzard's show "stripped" tonight at the majestic. lydia knows the power of a good smooch to say "thank you!"


again, thanks to everyone for care-ing and helping to raise much needed funds for care's relief in burma. you can still donate, you know, just pop over to lyn's site and click your way to generosity!

and the winner is...

you can feel the excitement crackling in the air as the large hopper of virtual raffle tickets is rolled onto the stage. lyn has limbered up her fingers so that she is in top ticket selecting form. this is the first raffle that lyn and i have conducted and we are pleased to say that the generous admires of mr. izzard have raised over $250 in donations to care's relief effort in the country formerly known as burma (myanmar). we'd like to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts for the for care-ing.

the thunderous applause dies down as lyn approaches the hopper and announces the winning number -

#6585 and the two runners up.

unfortunately, #6585 was not able to use the tickets, so the tickets pass to the first runner up #6592. their identity (and photos) will be revealed pending their notification.

once again, thanks to everyone who participated. i sincerely wish i had tickets to give you all!

what will monkey do?

sometimes a little brainstorming with a pal is needed to come up with the best solutions. my guest brainstormer is lyn the proprietress extordinair of cake or death (the ultimate eddie izzard fan site).

me: welcome lyn. would you mind reviewing the problems at hand while i write them on the chalk board.

lyn: i'd love to! problem 1 - you have you have tickets to eddie izzard's show in dallas that you don't need.

me: right!

lyn: problem 2 - i want to help care raise money for their relief effort in burma.

me: as you can see by the diagram i have made using colored chalk and bits of string, the solution is obvious.

lyn: yes...we raffle the tickets off to benefit care.

me: brilliant!!!

we'll go rest our brain cells while you read the rules of the game.

4 june 08 update: the raffle has now ended!

hypothetical question

let's say you are a small terrycloth primate with an extra pair of tickets to eddie izzard's june 5th show in dallas, but, you will not be using the tickets. the tickets are nice box tickets that you could probably sell them on e-bay for wads of cash. then again, you could give them to a friend or possibly, you could sell them at face value to a hypothetical stranger. so ask yourself: what would monkey do?

(any offers to purchase these hypothetical tickets will be ignored as will any begging friends coveting them.)

oh! wow! chow!

can you imagine my delight to find that chows's aïda mollenkamp has mentioned cooking with monkey as one of her top 10 favorite cooking blogs! what an honor to be listed on a favorite site with the sites i love to persuse and what a delight to see the always entertaining and informative david lebovits. yes that's him whipping up a few treats in the photo.

could the tv show "there's a monkey in the kitchen and he has a knife" be far off?

think about this

on this day in 1990 the world lost great creative mind and warm heart; jim henson. he brought kermit to life, gave him singing and dancing lesson and even taught him to ride a bike. just think about the legacy he's left behind.

know your buddhas - tara

the buddha of compassion, chenrezig, took a vow to relieve the suffering of all sentient beings, but, things were not going so well. he was alone, overworked, overwhelmed and frustrated. it's no wonder that he just broke down in a fit of hopeless tears. i would have too. but, one of his tears hit the ground and from that spot the beautiful tara manifested announcing that she was there to help chenrezig accomplish his aspiration. she sure knows how to make an entrance, doesn't she?

arya tara or jetsuma drolma as the tibetans call her, is not exclusive to buddhism. hindus consider her one of the mother goddesses. way back when, she vowed to always be reborn as a female until she vanquished every last bit of suffering in the world. (and you though oprah was an over achiever.)

like every good mother, she has an array of colorful manifestations - 21 to be exact - ranging from nurturing to wrathful. of course, what mom doesn't go a little wrathful from time to time when protecting their child?

why-oh is it cinco de mayo?

on this day in 1862 the mexican forces triumphed over the french in the battle of puebla. this didn't deter the plucky french. they went on to invade mexico city and install maximilian the first (le premier) as emperor of mexico. luckily, the french were run out of town in 1867 or everyone would be speaking french and tex-mex food would include crepes and stinky cheeses.

today would be a good day to brush up on your tomato dicing skills as you whip up salsa for your queso dip, guacamole and nachos. oooh la la - i mean ole!

know your saint days - st george

today is the day that everyone celebrates that plucky little dragon slayer, st. george. he's kept busy being the patron saint of canada and catalonia, england and ethiopia, georgia and greece, palestine and portugal, montegro, russia, serbia and china too. genoa probably has a salami named after him because he is also patron saint of that city as well a handful of other cities and burgs. just like other dragon slayers, he's a bit of an over achiever, so he's also patron saint for agricultural workers, archer, armourers, butchers, cavalry, chivalry, the brazilian football team, crusaders, equestrians,horses, the order of the garter (who ever they are) riders, saddle makers, scouts, and solders, yet he still makes time for a handful of diseases like lepers and leprosy, skin diseases in general, herpes and syphilis.

the english flag is flying outside 10 downing street in his honor today, but, think last years tribute in trafalgar square would be hard to top when 5567 broke the record for the world's largest coconut orchestra playing the monty python mass hit "always look on the bright side of life" prior to a screen of the classic film "monty python and the holy grail" while i know terry jones and terri gilliam conducted the proceedings, i am still unsure if london mayor ken livingston raised his coconut halved and joined in. i know i would.

kosher karnival

i'm all for celebrating passover and i have been known to partake in a carnival or two (providing the snacks are good and there are no clown in the vicinity). why has it taken so long for anyone to combine the two?

i can see it now. everyone enjoying the friendly competition of matzoh toss, beitzah on a spoon race, and the monor eating contests. kids will run themselves silly brushing up on the afikoman search skills while the teens will enjoy a good fright in the 10 plagues house of horrors. the crafts tent will be full of sculptures built of charoset and matzoth and vendors will hawk culinary delights like kosher corny dogs and mogen david spritzers. after a few moments in the temple shaped bouncy house, it'll be time for the children to puke and be taken home. could you ask for more fun?

if you're looking for a way to commemorate the years of slavery and arduous journey the jews made into exile in a little more upscale, you can always spend the holiday at a posh hotel.

how foolish of me

it's april fool's day and here i am without a witty post.please accept my apologies and enjoy and archived copy of my ever so entertaining column on the holiday that appeared in .net magazine in 2005. there a links, and some very attractive photos. i think you'll enjoy it - no fooling.

bad ducks and englishman: eddie izzard in dallas

god created the earth, the red sea parted and eddie izzard loosened the buckle of the bible belt a notch or two at the majestic last night. tackling the holy trinity of texas - god, jesus and football he corralled the boisterous dallas audience as he littered the stage with giant squid, spartans and a badger or two. so, basically, a good time was had by all.

i have to confess, i was charmed by the way mr, izzard physically manifested his characters in "shadow of the vampire" and "the cat's meow" and have been longing to see him kick off his heels and bring that presence to his stage show. yes, he does cut a fine line in tasteful pumps and girl garb, but, it was wonderful to see the added animation that accompanied his sartorial choice for the evening (jeans, t-shirt, a nicely tailored jacket and sensible flats).

i' won't offer a blow by blow description of the festivities. by the time i tapped out my missive, his material will have evolved into a new creature anyway. let's fact it, eddie izzard's shows are like life - you have to be there to experience it.

any questions?

____________________

update: (7 april 08)
other's posts about the show:
laura seewoester for pegasus news
rob clark for quickdfw
adam mcgill for d magazine
todd camp for ft. worth star telegram
robert philpot for ft. worth star telegram pop culture

get to know your organs - the appendix

once thought to be a vestigial organ that aided ancient primates with the digestion of grass and leaves, the appendix is now believed to be a safe house for intestinal bacteria. current data shows that this little organic noah's ark helps repopulate the intestines with healthy bacteria after a flood of illness or other natural disaster washes the intestines clean.

coming attractions

now that a month of list is dragging to a close, here's a list of my favorite holidays that next month in april.

1. national poetry month


2. national laboratory month


3. national grilled cheese month.(yes, a grilled cheese made with an iron counts.)
   

zzz...

three things i didn't do today because i slept late.

1. do my traditional dance to the dawn as the sun comes up.
   
2. have huge last sunday in may waffle breakfast for all my friends.
3. find the key to world peace.

fun facts - saturday

list of interersting tidbits about saturday.

1. it's the only day in the western calendar that comes from roman mythology. (it's named after the planet staturn that was named after the roman god saturn.)


2. for years, saturday morning was the time television stations devoted to childrens programming - specifically animated cartoon.


3. there are over 10 song named "saturday" and an oodle more with saturday in the title.


4. on a statuday in 1975, saturday night live first aired. (what a coincidence!)

excuses, excuses

three reasons why i have nothing to blog about today.

1. nothing happened.
2. i forgot.
3. the dog ate my blog post.

fun facts - bhutan

three interesting things about bhutan.

1. it's the newest democracy!
2. they write using tibetan script.
3. they have a snazzy on line library.
4. aside from gdp, they measure the gnh or gross national happiness.
   

happy prince kohio day!

this hawai'ian holiday and king kamehameha day on june 11th are the only two holidays dedicated to royalty in the united states. say, aloha to my list of favorite hawai'ian words i can freely use in conversations. (with bonus definition and it's skillful use in a sentence!)

1. mahalo - thanks - "mahalo for the snack!"
2. puka - hole - "theres a puka in my shopping bag."
3. pa'u - sarong - "everyone looks stunning in a pa'u."
4. iki - small - "mahalo for telling me there is an iki puka in my pa'u."

eggciting snacks

my list of post easter nibbles in my house.

1. egg salad
2. deviled eggs
3. marshmallow salad
4. girl scout cookie ice cream sandwiches
   

what's that smell?

to answer the question "what have you been reading?" here's my list list of what i have read recently and what i want to read.

1. the perfect scent by chanler burr about the creation of two perfumes. (read)
   
2. the emperor of scent again, by chandler burr about perfume and luca turin's adventure to discover how the sense of smell works. (reading)
   
3. perfumes: the guide by luca turin (will read - not published yet)
   

peep peep peep!

happy easter! easter means peep season, so, today's list - "peeps in the news"

1. top of the peep heap - chicago tribune
2. secret life of peeps - colorado springs gazette
3. we the peep'l - the advocat and wbrz
4. for peep's sake - usa today

special bonus - sweet easter peep post cards!

birthdays

my list of 3 famous people born today only one of which is still alive.

1. marcel marceau (1923)
2. williams shatner (1931)
3. chico marx (1887)
   

friday of goodness

it's world poetry day! here's a list of 3 subjects i'd like to see more poems about.

1. muffins
2. lawn flamingos
3. me

bonus haiku:

not stuffy or long,
the simple haiky is oh
so accessible

red sweater day

today would have been fred rogers' (of mr. rogers neighborhood fame) 80th birthday. in his honor people all over are celebrating sweater day today. here's my list of three things mr. rogers always did no his show.

1. sing a song
2. put on his sweater
3. tell a story

have a beautiful day!

(yes that's me and mr. rogers' sweater at the smithsonian!)

10+9

songs with 19 in the title from the later half of the 20th century.

1. hey nineteen by steely dan
2. nineteen forever by joe jackson
3. 19th nervous breakdown by the rolling stones

tibetan trio

three films that will give you a background on tibet.

1. tibet: a buddhist trilogy
2. cry of the snowlion
3. kundun
   

all these fine films are available at amazon.com

show me the green

in honor of st. patrick's day, here's my list of my favorite green things.

1. mint
2. kermit the frog
3. lime (key and persian)
4. glitter
5. tea leaves
6. avocado
7. basil
8. green tara

did and didn't

the list of things i accomplished today:

1. slept late.
2. meditated.
3. shopped for groceries.
4. blogged.
5. changed the cat litter.
6. took the trash out.
7. played an energetic game of feather on a string with my cat.
   

the list of things i did not accomplish today:

1. take a long walk.
2. bake a tasty snack for this week.
3. bring about world peace.
   

beware of the middle of the month

the ides of march. despite the fame that the ides of march get after that unfortunate incident with julius caesar in 44 bc, every month has an ides. it's just a fancy schmancy way of saying the middle of the month.

todays list is what's happened on the ides of each month -

1. 15 march - hp lovecraft dies in 1937
2. 15 april - the founder of sikhism, guru nank dev is born in 1469
3. 15 may - musician producer bian eno is born in 1949
4. 15 june - arkansas (pronounced arkhansaw) becomes the 25 state in american in 1836.
5. 15 july - st vladami the great day.
6. 15 aug ust - cook, author and first tv culinary personality julia child is born in 1912;
7. 15 september - sir alexander flemming notices a bacteria-eating mold (penicillin) growing in his laboratory.
8. 15 october - nasa's galelei spaceprobe cruises withing 112 miles of io - one of jupiter's moons.
9. 15 november - the national broadacsting corporarion radio network (or nbc as we know it today) starts wtih 24 stations in 1926.
10. 15 december - walt disney dies in 1966 before his head is frozen.
11. 15 january - the free wiki content, wikipedia, goes on line in 2001 and revolutionizes the way people get and share information.
12. 15 february - creator of jeff and akbar cartoonist matt gorening is born in 1954.
    

pi day!

happy pi day my friends.

to celebrate i'm making two lists!

a list of pi facts

1. if a pie's diameter is 1 a pies's circumference is pi (3.14).
2. pi is the spelled out version of the greek letter π.
3. pi is credited with being one of the most imporant mathamtical constant.
4. to find the circumference of a pie multiple it's diameter by pi.

pies i have made in the past year that i have written pi somewhere on the crust or topping.

1. pumpkin
2. key lime
3. lemon sour cream
4. apple
5. apple salt caramel
6. green tea cream (not one of my better ideas)
7. strawberry
8. pecan
9. pinach and feta

lucky or unlucky 13

a little list of facts about 13

1. triskadecaphobia is the fear of the number 13
2. sikhs consider 13 a lucky number
3. a rondeau is a poem with 13 lines.
4. a bakers dozen has 13 items.
5. the great seal of the united states there are 13 stars, 13 arrows and an olive branch with 13 leaves and 13 olives.
6. 13 is the 6th smallest prime number (one of my favorites)
7. you fans of the periodic table will know that 13 is aluminum's atomic number.

hey cookie!

on this day in 1912 juliette gordon low founded the girl guides. their name changed to girl scouts and become famous for their annual cookie sales and the inspiring troop 1500. here' the list of girl scout cookies i purchased this year.

1. thin mints
   
2. samoas
   
3. tagalongs

apple of my eye

in celebration of johnny appleseed day, here's the list of 11 apples i've eaten in the past 6 months.

1. northen spy (they make the best pie!)
2. gala
3. braeburn
4. jazz
5. golden delicious
6. pink lady
7. rome
8. fuji
9. granny smith
10. empire
11. honey crisp

know your buddhas - chenrezig

beloved in tibet and with the tibetan people in exile he may well be the most popular buddha in the of our time. please welcome my good friend chenrezig, the buddha of compassion.

you'll recognize him by his white color, the doe skin casually draped around his shoulders and his impeccable ability to accessorize. in addition to a snazzy array of golden jewelry, chenrezig is never without a wish fulfilling jewel cradled between the palms of his hands. luckily, he has two other hands to hold a beautiful rare kamala flower and a crystal mala. i must admit the effect is stunning.

also known as avelokiteshvara, the buddha of compassion has devoted himself to hearing the prayers of all suffering sentient beings. his six syllable mantra (om mani padme hung) is known far beyond the borders of tibetan where you can see it carved into stones, painted on walls and heard on the lips of pilgrims everywhere. his holiness the dalai lama, is considered the living manifestation of chenrezig, but, everyone is welcome to manifest at little compassion whenever possible.

1801, 1922, 1949

three things that happened on this day.

1. 1801 - first census taken in great britain.
2. 1922 - ghandi arrested
3. 1949 - thousands of tibetans were massacred during the unsuccessful uprising against the 10 year of occupation of lhasa by the chinese.
   

spring forward

daylight savings time begins and it's time to spring forward! i prefer a light free form spring tossing my hands in the air over my head and uttering a joyous and sincere "whee!" and i hit the to of the arc. still others prefer a little running head start before executing their spring. which ever you chooses, here are three things things you often hear on the day daylight savings time starts.

1. i missed church.
2. who's idea was this?
   
3. finally the clock on my car says the right time!

three daylight saving's time facts:

1. it was invented by william willet in 1907.
2. hawai'i doesn't observe it.
3. contrary to popularbelief daylight saving time does not save energy.

8 women i love.

i'm celebrating the centenary of international woman's day with a list of 8 women i admire.

1. julie taymor (can she direct or what?!)
2. jetsum peme (that's the dalai lama's sister)
3. mother theresa (she certainly walked her talk)
4. yeshe tsogyel (she might have been born in the 8th century tibet, but, she still counts)
5. sister helen prejean (very few people know she has a good sense of humor.)
6. mother ammachi (compassion in action topped with a hug)
7. my mom
8. all the other women i don't have room to mention.

prime objective

list of 7 people born today

1. maurice ravel (french composer)
2. tomáš masaryk (the first president of what used to be czechoslovakia
3. gene shalit (american film critic and hair style trend setter)
4. willard scott (amercan weather presenter)
   
5. tammy fay baker (late televangelist and mascara aficionado)
6. abigale and brittany hensel (american co-joined twins)
   
7. tim condra

list of my 7 favorite prime numbers (in no particular order).

1. 1999
2. 13
3. 101
4. 33331
   
5. 1299299
   
6. 324
7. 7
   

your request is my list!

becky from montana has requested a list of soothing sounds. so, for her, i present "six soothing sounds" a list in one act.

1. gentle spring rain
2. my kitty-cat purring
3. waves crashing into the beach (with option seabird accompaniment)
   
4. a gurgling brook
5. birds chirping at sunrise.
6. the sound a slice of warm toast makes when you first bite into it.
   

5 syllables

five five syllable lines (haiku starters?)

1. i thought the door shut
2. luxurious nap
3. my old trilobite
4. i would love some tea!
5. exploding glitter

feel free to compose the rest to the haikus yourself!

four on four

four ways to say four

1. quatre (en francais)
2. čtyři (czeck)
3. zhi (tibetan)
4. cuatro (spanish)

four ways to say march (the month)

1. mars (french, norwegian, icelandic, swedish)
   
2. marec (slovak)
3. marzo (spanish, italian)
4. březen (czeck)
   

three for 3/3

four people with birthday's today

1. rebecca schmitz
   
2. john william pecen
   
3. ira glass
   
4. miranda richardson

three important historical events that occurred today.

1. at&t was incorporated in 1885 in the state of new york.
   
2. mathatma ghandi started his famous fast is 1939.
   
3. the difficult to sing "star-spangle banner" was adopted as the the u.s. national anthem.

four country musicians with three word names. (two of which went to the same high school in dallas, texas)

1. robert earl keene
2. ray wylie hubbard
3. michael martin murphey
   

short listed

march 2nd in history (also know as texas independence day).

two in international events that occurred to day

1. moldova and uzbetksatn joins the united nations in 1992
2. vlladimír remek becomes the first czeck to go into space in 1976

two saint days that fall on march 2.

1. st. chad's day (church of england)
2. st jovinas day (catholic church)

march list-o-mania!

eden over at nablopomo decided that the theme for march is lists. i love a list as much as the next prmate, so, i'm going to give it a go and post a list everyday this month.

today's installment:

a list of lists about march - four things about march

1. three things everyone knows about march:

1. it's the third month in the western calendar.
2. it's 31 days in length.
3. it's named after mars.

2. three things you may not know about march:

1. it's one of three single syllable months.
2. it's named after the roman god of war, mars, not the planet.
3. it's it's one of 7 months that's 31 days in length.

3. things that that make me wonder "how do even know these three things about march?"

1. it comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.
2. it's month flower is the daffodile
3. it's month gem is the aquamarine.

4. three march 1st holidays.

1. beer day (iceland)
2. st. david's day (dydd gŵyl dewi sant as they say in wales)
3. independence day (bosnia & heregovina)

leap on four!

as soon as i heard 2008 was going to be a leap year i started working diligently on my grande jete's, saute de chat, and my crowd pleasing saute de basque. i was determined to leap as much as possible in 2008 and wanted to put my best foot forward. after all those hours in the studio i'm a little disappointed to find out that leap year has less to do with a grand pas and more with some calendar faux pas.

some say the egyptians came up with the idea of adding an extra day every 4 years to keep their calendar in step with the seasons and julius caesar get credit of tucking that extra day into february. pope gregory the xiii is accused of standardizing leap year so that it occurs in any year evenly devisable by 4, but, no one is stepping forward to take credit for the name. would you?

it's false advertising. the whole year is not leaping. it's not even bouncing around a bit. it's just one day that saunters in every four years like the kid that always shows up for the math club yearbook photo, but never attended any of the meetings. sure it brings the yearly day count up to a nice even 366, but that's nothing to twist and shout about unless you are the kind of person who likes numbers that are evenly devisable by 2, 3 and 6. i'm sure some european country has a holiday devoted to leaping where i can dazzle revelers with my grand jete en tournant and a sisson or two!

know your buddhas - maitreya

valentine's day is all about love, so, it's no coincidence that i'm kicking of my "know your buddhas" series with my little golden friend here. say hello to the buddha maitreya! today, he's decked out in his fancy silks, elaborate jewelry and matching crown. other times, you'll see him in a simple monks robe sitting peacefully. no, that's not a gang sign he's making, it's a gesture that means that means he is teaching. his name is pronounce my-tray-uh and comes from the sanskrit word maitri and means universal loving kindness.

maitraya is a future buddha, so, he's not scheduled to show up until the previous buddha's teaching have degenerated and have been forgotten and everyone's in a bad mood. that's when our buddhist bundle of love will show up and start spreading the love and kindness. i predict he's going to be a big hit. of course i'm limbering up my loving kindness now! feel free to join me!

my healthy valentine

what says "i love you more than anything else in the world" more than healthy heart. just take a gander at these attractive and well formed p waves. a respectable pr interval, pointy and pert qrs complexes folowed by a relaxed st segment and a nobel t wave. it's obvious that this little heart beat just screams "i love you!" in a dignified electrocardiographic way, of course.

like any muscle, the heart needs excercise to keep it fit, so, i'm ready to give it a working. so, i'll love my heart with a brisk walk and i'll put my hear in everything i do. the perfect combination for years of love and happiness.

coming up later today - two special features! know your buddhas - featuring a special valentine guest - the buddha maitreya and a valentine's day "ask monkey" feature.

tashi deleg losar!

it seems like only 38 days ago we welcomed in a new year. now, it's time to celebrate the lunar new year or as my tibetan buddhist pals like to call it, losar (lo means year and sar mean new).

losar celebrations date back to the pre-buddhist period and the indigenous spirituality called bon. today, however, it's inseparable from buddhist practices to prepare for and celebrate the new year. a good house cleaning gets things physically tidy while a day of rituals devoted to removing obstacles and negativity tidies up the spiritual end of things.

new years day starts off fresh with special prayers and ceremonies for longevity, prosperity and auspicious activity and is sure to include a fire offering followed by special snacks and beverages. momo (dumplings), kapse (fried bread), chang (barley beer) and po cha (tibetan butter tea) is sure to be on the menu along with other treats both sweet and savory.

for his holiness the dalai lama, it's traditional for him to consult the ngechung oracle during losar. for everyone else who doesn't have an oracle of their own, it's a time to celebrate and spend time with family and friends.

tashi deleg losar!(auspicious blessing for the new year!) and welcome to 2135 the year of the earth mouse!

my oh my! pie day

the egyptians were baking them a couple thousand years ago, ancient romans ate only the filling and considered the crust as a filling transport system, 12th century england found handpies heavy on the crust and light on savory meat fillings. from pizza to spinikopita to quiche and key lime, every culture and every region has it's own pie history. today's the day to share a slice of pie and make a little history yourself!

need some inspiration? how about my classic key lime pie or if you are a primate on the go, my quick key lime? or get a jump on pi day (that's march 14th, you know) with becky's scrumptious lemon sour cream pie?

i can't wait! 2008 is going to be great!

as you can see, i'm ready to ring in the new year with a bit of bubbly and festivities. i hope you have a joyous, healthful, creative, and abundant new year!

the guests of honor have arrived -

yes. the potatoes! these international tubers of tastiness have been honored by the united nations for their work in the field of feeding the hungry, protecting natural resources and providing food security for future generations. no wonder why 2008 was named the year of the potato!

after we ring in the new year, a couple of my pals from idaho and i are kicking of the 2008 in potato-y style with a special batch of potato latkes for brunch.

lions and reindeer and bunnies, oh my!

By this time next week, the christmas spirit will have given up the ghost. soon, new years festivities will take priority as thank you notes are written and resolutions are contemplated. until then, i'll enjoy the season and indulge in all my favorite christmas movies while snacking on fruitcake and sipping on a mug of cocoa. just in case you're in the mood to join me, here's what i have queued up for this weekend's festive film festival fete.

my holiday viewing season was kicked off with the classic grinch that stole x-mas. nothing says "merry christmas! let's slice the roast beast" like boris karloff. but, long before the grinch came on the scene, the holy trinity of children's christmas programing in chicago was the stop-motion classics "suzy snowflake" and "hardrock, coco and joe" and the "frosty the snow man." these short animated music videos of juanty christmas tunes may have been the inspiration for many an animator today. but i can't help wondering if the dwarfs in hardrock, coco and joe are not so distant relations to last years winner of the npr ornament contest "colbert elf"

my holiday viewing menu always includes "olive the other reindeer" based on the delightful book by vivian walsh and j. otto seibold, this animated treat is chock-full-o humor and toe-tapping tunes. drew barrymore's portrayal of our doggie hero-ette is sweet and sincere. i must say, i am a serious fan of the book and was not prepared to like the film. while the plot is different from the book, they have somehow managed to keep the distinctive look of the characters while breathing life into them.

when my kitty friends drop by, i always break out the turkey treats and pop in "bell, book and candle" kim novac and jimmy stuarts holiday romp with a charming siamese kitty.

now, i know everyone loves rudolph the rednose reindeer. i have to be honest, as much as i admire the craftsmanship of the production, the elf that wants to be a dentist and beryl ives as a singing snowman are just too creepy for me. for my dose of holiday stopmotiony goodness, i turn to nightmare before christmas. what chistmas would be complete with out something by tim burton? certainly not mine! if i'm still hungry for a bit-o-burton, i'll dip into a bit of edward scissorhands as a midnight snack.

after all the gifts are wrapped, the cookies baked, and the small electrical fires extinguished, i like to settle down on christmas eve with beverage in hand and a crown on my head to do my best katherine hepburn imitation while watching the lion in winter. what other christmas movie fits in the memorable lines "I know. You know I know. I know you know I know. We know Henry knows, and Henry knows we know it. We're a knowledgeable family.", "they'll be pork in the tree-tops come morning" and "shall we hang the holly or each other?"

after a flurry of christmas morning gift opening, i like to calm down with a plate of cookies cookies, a cup of tea and my vintage vhs tape of the rabbit ears radio's retelling of "the velveteen rabbit." the film is not flashy, just david jergennsen's beautiful illustration with meryl streep reading margery williams original 1922 story of how one little bunny becomes real through the power of love. if that's not a christmas story, i don't know what is.

a date that will live on in infamy

when a date gets a bad reputation it's hard to shake it. even though it's made a lot of positive contributions to the world as a date, it will always be associated that one bad apple of a day.

today, for instance. any one who's taken a bit of american history will tell you that pearl harbor was bombed on december 7th 1941. yet, how many people remember that the december 7th 1938 issue of time magazine ran a lengthy article about fashion designer turned socialite turned adventurer ruth harkness who was returning from shanghai with what the ship's manifest described as "a dog". the magazine called harkness' little charge "a scientific prize of first magnitude", mrs harkness called it su lin and i call it cute. the little black and white bottle-baby holds the distinction of being the very first wild panda to be captured alive.

prolific and eclectic musician, composer, performer tom waits was born on this day in 1949? coincidence? well, yes.

st. nicholas day!

on st. nicholas eve, little boys and girls leave their shoes out for st. nicholas. if they have been very good, the will get a little treat. if they had been bad they'll find a coal or a switch. sometimes, for no reason at all, he will leave cushioned insoles, talcum powder or toe taps.

i imagine that our parents were very very very good. why else would they have found us in their shoes in the morning? yes! margaret and i have the same birthday!

we share our special day with nick park, the genius animator who brought the world "wallace and gromit", "creature comforts" and "chicken run." margaret has more in common with nick than meets the eye. she's a bit of an animation goddess herself. she's been constructing and dressing-up stop-motion puppets from "davey and goliath" and "robot chicken" to "moral oral" and the upcoming full length feature film "coraline."

happy birthday to us!!!

the dreidel spinning has commenced!

last night was the first night of hanukkah - the festival of lights. the family gathers, the prayers are said, the candles are lit. nothing makes holiday memories like faces bathed in the warm glow of the candles and the faint smell of singed hair. of course, after the first night tradition of the gifting of the fire extinguisher, there is a frenzy as everyone descends on the gifts and tosses their diets to the wind and sour cream is slathered on latkes.

before a wonderful life

with jimmy stewarts extensive career it's no wonder he's been in a few holiday movies. tonight, i enjoyed the 1940's film "the shop around the corner" featuring margaret sullivan and the wizard of oz himself, frank morgan. despite the fact that all the signage in the film is in another language (i like to pretend it's bohemian)everyone speaks such perfect english!

naughty or nice?

my favorite friend and fiend are in the holiday spirit. charlotte and vendetta have christmas songs that you'll be humming all season long!

the finish line

the crowd cheers,confetti flies and we are all greeted family and friend as we break the finish line and wave goodbye to nablopomo.

like many of us, i entered in to nablopomo with a sense of excitement and intent. i was going to post for 30 consecutive days and my posts would be brilliant. i have papers filled up with ideas and half written stories that i ran out of steam on.

let's see what did make it to the old blog this month:

day 1 my reflections on halloween and costumes.
day 2 deviled egg day!
day 3 day light savings time ends
day 4 sunday ramblings
Day 5 responsible citizen
day 6 boring presentation
day 7 becky's yummy onion soup
day 8 interview becky on sporky
day 9 lord shiva's dance moves
day 10 ask monkey - fruitcake laws
day 11 meditation
day 12 an autumn haiku
day 13 word of the year
day 14 sporky speaks
day 15 ask monkey - autumn leaves
day 16 basil the cat
day 17 meteor shower
day 18 ask monkey - teas
day 19 relish relishing
day 20 bat grooming tip
day 21 no music day
day 22 thanks giving tip
day 23 the season starts
day 24 reflections on no music day
day 25 blessed are the cheese makers
day 26 the best feature on my telephone
day 27 a sufi, a priest and a rabbi walk into a summit.
day 28 nablopomo haiku or two
day 29 holiday tv special - full of wiki goodness
day 30 round up of posts and what didn't make it.

This is what didn't made it to the blog this month


correct hand washing techniques and songs selection to assure 15 seconds of scrubbing.
is there really such a thing as decaffeinated tea?
my favorite holiday movies
why i miss leslie harpole.
how i named my cat.
ice cream vs gelato vs sorbet - frozen confection smack down.
thank you notes.
invention of the tea bag.
gushing admiration of jim henson.
meditation instruction.
panda facts.
bat facts.
know your tibetan lama - interview with a tibetan lama.
detailed explanation of karma.
what is dharma.
quotes i love.
what you can do in a month.
proposal for nablopomohohoho - post every day until christmas about something christmasy.
answer various "ask monkey" questions that arrived.
suggested reading of books i haven't read.
suggested reading of books i have read.
the urban legend about me eating homemade candy from strangers. (without the names changed to protect the fudge maker.)

will any of these make it into my blog in the future? maybe some of them will.

but right now, it's time to put my feet up, relax and wait to see who wins the prize that i donated for a lucky winner of the nablopomo challenge.

thanks mrs. kennedy for doing this to us. making this all possible.

and they're off!

the holiday season television specials have started. i can only imagine what's in store for unsuspecting viewers. while i hope to avoid anything as scary as the infamous 1977 "little drummer boy" duet with bing crosby and david bowie, i do have a few classics that i like to catch every year.

last night, "how the grinch stole christmas" kicked off my holiday viewing. dr. seuss penned the book of the same name in 1957. director chuck jones brought it to life in glorious animated color in 1966. no where else would you ever hear the melodious voice of the great horror icon boris karloff and the vocal stylings of the grrrrrreat! thurl ravenscroft?

despite my best efforts, i have still not located a recipe for roast beast, but, i have given wikipedia its christmas gift. it was a snap to shop for!

nablopomo haiku

i write everyday
to meet the blogging challenge
only two more days!

bonus haiku:

i have no subject
to inspire me today.
resort to haiku!

a buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor

it's no laughing matter that religious tension seems to be at an all time high. yet last week, the united nations organized a conference in barcelona, spain where jews, muslims and christians openly cracked religious jokes.

details are sketchy, but, clerics were poking fun of their themselves and their religions to a packed house. from the sufi who kicked off the gig to the catholic who had the last set, they had the audience laughing with them not at them.

what if this kind of humor continues? if they hit the road with their schtick and start playing larger venues? what if others stand-up and join them with their relentless spinning yarns until the audiences sides ache and tears run down their faces? if this keeps up? something more than laughter may break out. that's right, religious tolerance might just be the warm up act to world peace.

i'm not pulling your leg! check out gerry hadden's coverage of the summit for the world.

phone home

i spent the entire evening talking on my telelphone. my ears are sore, my lips are weary and i can't tell if i'm more tired of talking or listening. but, i still love my telephone!

it has two separate lines - one that everyone calls and one secret hotline. it has a speaker phone, a phone book, room monitoring, speakerphone, intercom and conference calling. it dials my alarm company in an emergency all by itself. it tells me who's calling and has a repertoire of ringtones that range from subtle and unobtrusive to blatantly annoying. it has three handsets, one of which is a loner that hides out in the sofa cushions until his battery is dead. i'm sure the base unit is the ringleader among my home appliances and suspect he orders take-away food when i'm not home.

now, everyone's batteries are low and it's time to tuck everyone into their cradles, hit their "do not disturb" buttons and say good night. it's time for my voice mail to have some fun!

blessed are the cheesemakers

as you know, i believe in promoting tolerance and understanding. naturally, i get concerned when someone stubbornly proclaims that they are lactose intolerant and unable to partake of any of the selections on the cheese platter or indulge in a comforting grilled cheese sandwich.

i am here today in the spirit of understanding to dispel those myths prejudicing the lactose challenged and swaying them from the the consumption of cheesey comestibles. yes, my abstaining friends, you can partake of cheese without fear of digestive revolt. ok, you can partake of some cheeses...those would be naturally lactose free cheeses.

i can hear you skeptics now: "if it is made with milk, it has lactose." well, according to cheese world insider paula lambert, cheeses made with rennet and cultures are lactose free. rejoice!

you naysayers can turn to page 134 in the pop-up version of "monkey's complete guide to chemistry and the joy of cheese". as you can see, the belligerent lactose molecule meets the persuasive rennet and his roving band of cultures. a lively conversation ensues, lactose lets his guard down so he's easily converted, and gobbled up by the cultures. the evil lactose has been banished from the final cheese, forever.

please refer to the supplement "the curd among us - lactose's revenge" for the philosophical explanation of why cheese made by using an acid to curdle the milk still harbors lactose. it is clear in the series of glossy photos the offending molecules are not persuaded to convert and remain intact(and probably more than a little annoyed). and so, i say unto you, if your cheese is genuine and the ingredients contain the words rennet and cultures, it is wholesome and fit for all to partake of.

thus ends the today's teaching. now if the congregation will please turn to page 68 in your glorious cheese hymnal, let us all join together to sing "crescenza in carroza".

do you hear what i hear?

wednesday i participated in "no music day" and what an ear-opener that was!

even without music i have a great soundtrack to my life. my kitty's squeeks as she stretches and i didn't know my candle wick hisses. the 6 am matalic garbage truck solo was mercifully short and the thunderstorm was rhythmically more complex than any jazz drummer. my tea kettle falls silent when the water reaches a boils and someone very small was practicing a soft-shoe in my attic at sunset.

it wasn't all a romp through a natural soundtrack recording (with feel-good subliminal messages). i really did miss the music i love and i might have fallen off the wagon if confronted with an opportunity to enjoy some favorite live music. i know that some people thought that a music fast was a silly idea and that they wouldn't give up their music for anything. for me, it was a valuable experience. but, don't listen to me, listen for yourself.

it's officially here!

not shopping season - nutcracker season. far and wide this is the day that productions of the nutcracker sprout up all over the country and will not go away until after christmas. from the first time a little dancer scurries across the stage as a mouse decades later when she creaks across the stage as a first act guest, it's the only ballet that a ballet dancer cannot avoid in their career. with double matinées, tea parties, holiday benefits and guest appearances - it's a busy life for any sugar plumb fairy, her cavalier and their tutu clad pals.

in russian and throughout europe, "sleeping beauty" was always christmas ballet, but, in the 1950's productions of the tchaikovsky and petipa's nutcracker in new york (under the direction of george balanchine) and chicago (under the direction or ruth page) elevated it to the christmas icon it is today. most people are familiar with at least the music through it's extensive use movies, television and commercials. even public radio's this american life has been sited for use of the sugar plum fairie's theme out of season.

so, for those of you who have never seen or heard of this glorious ballet, let me give you a synopsis in under 30 seconds. that's less than than it takes to get through the overture, so, don't bother to sit back and get comfy.

presenting the nutcracker in under 30 seconds or less:

clara's parents throw a christmas party and her bratty little brother breaks the new toy nutcracker that she gets from her eccentric godfather. exhausted from the festivities, she falls asleep in front of the christmas tree, but, is awakened by a small scale war going on between rats and mice in the parlor. her nutcracker comes to life, kills the mouse king, transforms into a prince and takes clara through dancing snowflakes to the land of sweets. there, she is greeted by the sugar plum fairy who commands various snacks,beverages,and flowers to entertain her guest before she and the prince dance their hearts out for clara . everyone hits the dancefloor for one last terpsichorean fling then calls it a night.

keep them out of the kitchen

Cuisiner suppose une tête légère, un esprit généreux et un coeur large.

Cooking calls for a tranquil mind, a generous spirit and a big heart.

--Paul Gauguin

when it comes to cooking thanksgiving dinner, i need more than a tranquil mind, i need a tranquil kitchen.

i think people mean well by gathering in my tiny kitchen. i know the old adage "the kitchen is the heart of the home" and all that. but a clogged heart is an unhealthy heart just begging for bypass surgery. so, if you don't clog my thanksgiving cooking space, you will not have to be surgically removed. neither of us want that, do we?

please make yourself comfortable and lounge around the living room which is totally free from pots of boiling liquids, sharp implements and unexpected movements that could cause injury. really you'll be much happier there. honestly, if i need help, i'll call. otherwise, trust me when i say "please, stay out of my kitchen!"

when the table is laden with a glorious selection of treats, than we can don our turkey hats and have a happy and gratitude filled thanksgiving.

if you're not stopping by for dinner or pie, i hope you have a lovely thanksgiving too!

no music day

today is officially no music day. for 24 little hours, i'll be observing a music fast. this holiday goes back as far as 2005 when founder bill drummond decided it was a good idea. i'm all for a day off to refresh my musical palate!

so, today, i'm not humming in the shower, not listening to my ipod and not watching television's bombardment of jaunty little jingles. movies with theme songs and mood music lurking around every corner are out of the question. i've change the ringtone on my phone and i'm not making any phone calls so that i don't get ambushed by hold music. please don't call me and sign. (you know who you are.) i'm ever vigilant so that i don't start humming a tune or let a little earwurm take hold in my brain. i'm taking the stairs and staying clear of shops and malls to steer clear of elevator music or mood music. i think i have this all pretty much under control.

my only concern is that i might inadvertently engage in a john cage composition, but, i'll have to take my chances.

music is such an intrinsic part of my life, this is no small effort. this morning has gone pretty well, but, i could be gasping for tunes any moment. like a starving man, all i can think about is what i will break my fast with. will it be some classical favorite, something soothing yet inspiring? or will it be something that gets my feet dancing and my heart soaring? or will i take my chances and let some music catch me off guard sauntering up the street or snapping on the radio? so much to choose from. should i get professional help from doctor steel or doctor john. (can either of them help with a bad case of loving you?) dive in to a buffet of bowie or brahms. from (laurie) anderson to (joe) zawinal, there a smorgasborg of fast-breaking goodness out there. i'll just have to wait and see...hmmm... waits.

until then, no singing in the rain, no dancing in the streets, no rocking round the clock for me!

your musical fast breaking suggestions are welcome.

grooming tip

bats and cats have more in common than a vowel and two consonants. both fuzzy mammals spend a lot of time grooming to keep their fur clean, soft and silky without the use of conditioners or harsh cleaning products.

*this interesting fact is courtesy of nice folks batworld rescue, release and sanctuary.

the relishing of the relish

yes! i really do make mama stamberg's cranberry relish every thanksgiving. honestly.

i have been known to prowl the berry isle in my local market for fresh cranberries and snap up the little crimson gems as soon as they splash down in their faux-bog display. several batches are necessary for holiday consumption and hoarding until a summer sandwich begs to be slathered with the shocking pink concoction.

while i wish that everyone could enjoy the unique flavor of this relish, i know it's not for everyone. still, i encourage you to give it a try keeping in mind, cranberry is not the dominant flavor. this is a dance of dance of cranberry, onion, horseradish, sugar and sour cream. savory yet slightly sweet. tangy and sharp yet tempered with creamy goodness. this is not your grandmother's orange cranberry relish or the number 2 can-shaped cranberry jelly that is a mainstay of many families holiday table. it's a taste delight all it's own. i just wish you were here so that i could express my feeling in interpretive dance.

feel free to drop by anytime during the holiday season with the sandwich of your choice and i'll give you a dollop!

ask monkey - all that's steeped is not tea

dear monkey,

i asked for a cup of tea at cafe today and was bombarded with a staggering list of choices: white, green, black, pooh air, oolong, red, herbal, mushroom, elixer, ginseng and matte. it was all so much, that i opted for orange juice. can you help me naviate through the tea jungle?

thirsty for knowledge,
leif

dear leif,

camellia sennesis is not a foreign film star. it's the official name of the nobel bush that is the source of all genuine tea. originating in asia, this plucky little plant has been the basis of refreshing beverages, medicinal preparations, and colorful legends for thousands of years. white, green, black, ooling and even the trendy puh err all come from the same plant. what varies is the growing, harvesting and processing that gives each type of tea it's distinct charachteristics.

so, if the cup in front of you holds a liquid made from herbs, bark, twigs or berries you're looking at an infusion. like teas, their varieties seem to be endless. either way you go - tea or infusion - it's a cavalcade of beverage adventure. i heartily enocourage you to jump in and splash around!

twinkle twinkle

i've packed up my cozy lawn chair, a healthy snack and a thermos of hot cocoa. i'm ready to spend some quality time looking skyward at some celestial entertainment courtesy of the leonid meteor shower. i'm hoping this shower scene will be as memorable as the one in psycho (but without the knife or the chocolate syrup going down the drain).

the cat is out of the bag

if i was draped in lox and dusted in cat nip, tito and boone would still be indifferent to me. yet, all i had to do was quietly step over the jackson's threshold and their gentleman cat, basil, would wake from a sound sleep, crawl from his cozy kitty bed (or choice spot in the sun) and pad slowly over to greet me. now that he has passed away, will this silent bond endure? do we have a psychic link that will connect us across the ether? i like to think so. although, he could have been just looking for the sour cream i would bring for him whenever i was cat-sitting.

ask monkey - autumn leaves

dear monkey,

when autumn comes, the trees transform into a brilliant palate of colors that are almost good enough to eat. how, i ask you, how does this happen? i must know.

tortured until you reply,
v van gough

dear vincent,

you seem like a guy who understands pigment and this is all about the pigment. those little powerhouses of photosynthesis that we call leaves are chock full of glorious colors all year long. the problem is, they are always being upstaged by boisterous chlorophyll. from spring to fall, you see him everywhere - from pale spring grass to deep forest green. he's always on the job making sure to do his part for photosynthesis and being the best green he can be. (green is the new black, you know!) sadly, he can't keep up his fast paced lifestyle and he starts to wear out and fade. who wouldn't? finally the patient carotene with her vibrant palate of reds, oranges and yellows takes center stage and is recognized for their fine display of what the fashionable leaves are wearing this autumn.

the spork speaks

i've finally caught up with matt aka sporky of the blog sporky.net

monkey: hi matt! ready for the interview?

sporkulious: oh? an interview with me?

monkey: yes. so that people can get to know that mat that i know. the real sporky.

sporkulious: oh? but won't i have to worry about stalkers?

monkey: no stalkers.

sporkulious: what about people holding celery stalks?

monkey: you never know about things like that - garnish afficiandos are everywhere! you've been blogging before the word blog was even coined. what blogs to you like to keep up with?

sporkulious: i keep up with every single blog on my "blog roll" (i hate that term. i like my rolls to come out of an oven, warm and tasty). my favorites, of course, are outofcharacter.blogspot.com , fussy.org and mimi smartypants . i also keep up with various webcomic sites and some blogs pertaining to my hobbies and interests - joystiq.com, digg.com, the usuals. i'm also keeping up with a little furry primate's blog.

monkey: there are so many blogs out there, what makes you get attached to one and dismiss others?

sporkulious: 90% of the time it's the author/blogger. i don't care if they're talking about wiping baby butts or buying rhubarb at a market - as long as they make it sound interesting and fresh i'll keep on reading. having a sense of humor is the #1 way to make it into my daily rotation.

of course, i do fall in and out of love with sites - people change over time and sometimes i have to go my separate way. but i'll always have the memories! (and the google cache)

monkey: any sites you've drifted away from and rediscovered again?

sporkulious: not really. my memory isn't that great, but i can recall if i've been on a site before and it's not my cup of tea anymore. though i can see why some people would leave a site when some sort of shift comes around - like megnut.com writing about food instead of her daily life, or heather champ writing less and less (or, for this month, more and more) at hchamp.com the only exceptions are when people stop updating their sites and then start up again. i'm a pretty loyal reader and nothing brings me more joy than when someone starts writing again.

monkey: so, i bet you are jumping with joy that i'm blogging daily, right?

sporkulious: i am! it pleases me to no end that you and thousands of bloggers everywhere are writing every day this month. of course, it does make my daily reading list extend past a few hours into the 4-6 hour range

monkey: there's always time for reading! matt, when you read, what's your beverge choice?

sporkulious: i like to have some sweet tea or water to keep my thirst quenched. though i wouldn't sniff at the idea of tossing down a few oranginas

monkey: excellent choices! do you accompany that with a snack or any thing?

sporkulious: there's no snackage going on, due to my abhorrence of a greasy mouse and keyboard, but i do often think of cheese.

monkey: who doesn't? you know how i feel about cheese.

sporkulious: i find my mind often wanders to cheese; to be truthful.

monkey: my feet often wander off to the cheese box to get a little nibble of cheese. what's in your cheese box today?

sporkulious: not much, sadly. i have a wedge of parmesan for grating, some seriously sharp cabot cheddar, a small wedge of pepper jack, some buffalo mozzarella, a few slices of provolone and some american cheese slices.

monkey: very nice selection. i also have a sharp cobot cheddar (thanks for introducing us couple years ago). my parmesan is a roughly shredded regiano. i have a tiny wedge of petit basque and a little chunk of a maytag blue that's next on the roster for my next grilled cheese. organic cultured cottage cheese rounds my collection. as you can see, i need replenish my store at my local cheeserie.

sporkulious: did someone say gouda?

monkey: hmmmm.... is becky around here. she's been known to say gouda. I understand that as a child, she had a tourette's-like syndrome where she would uncontollable blurt our the names of european cheeses.

sporkulious: i hear she was cursed by a gypsy woman after refusing to share a slice of brie.

monkey: is that how it started?

sporkulious: it's hard to get a word out of the schmitz family.

monkey: has she made amends with the gypsy women to get the curse lifted? i haven't noticed that behavior now.

sporkulious: i think it only manifests in her sleep.

monkey: oh! she's getting her own room on the roadtrip.

sporkulious: oh? that's for the best. we don't want any of the gypsy curse to rub off.

monkey: i can't share a room with any one yelling "port de salut" "moirbier" or "camembert" when i'm trying to sleep.

sporkulious: you'd never get to sleep thinking of all that cheese.

monkey: where do you find a midnight cheese monger? that would be the problem. we best let a sleeping becky sleep in her own room.

how's that for a little interview?

sporkulious: i think it's entirely suitable and scandalous for making me want to nibble some cheddar.

monkey: i better go find a nibble myself. thanks for joining me matt!

i think it's time to open up the floor to our readers. what's in your cheese box?

eat your words

if you are like me, you were up late last night celebrating the the announcement of new oxford american's 2007 word of the year. among the party goers were the distinguished runners-up including bacn, cougar, upcycling and tase. the winner, locavore, arrived tastefully late and resplendent in a locally sourced ensemble.

i'm hoping the my word snackavore (a noun meaning one who eats snacks and rather than meals) has a good shot for next years short list.

autumn haiku

my tissues are here.
they are soft and absorbent.
i have the sniffles.

meditation - it's not what you think!

i love the sense of calm spaciousness i get from meditation. i do it every day. everything slows down as i follow my breath and "be in the moment".

sometimes, my mind is so quite you can hear a pin drop. that's just before my mind pushes back the furniture, rolls up the carpet, cranks up the music and starts dancing.

ask monkey - fruitcake legalitise

Dear monkey--

I have heard that the laws regulating fruitcake vary from state to state. For instance, it is rumored that in Kansas it is illegal to transport a fruitcake in a moving vehicle. A "DWF" will land you in the pokey for up to 48 hours for the first offense. I have also heard of people who so load their fruitcakes with high-proof alcohol via ingenious spray or diffusion devices they could possibly be charged with operating their own illegal still in Vermont or Utah.

Can you please provide a synopsis of fruitcake-related laws in the United States of America for those members of your reading public who are conscientious quick bread consumers?

Thank you in advance,

A candied orange peel in Montana.

dear emma,

the supreme court has ruled that each state must legislate their own laws regarding fruitcake procurement and transport. as we have seen from your examples these laws are diverse and complicated, so, if you are interested in handling a fruitcake outside of your own home or transporting either across state line, i suggest that you become take a comprehensive course offered by your local chapter of the international fruitcake council. they offer programs from home fruitcake safety to internationally recognized licensure in the care and handling of fruitcake.

saddly, very little has been done to legislate the tastiness of fruitcakes. many mass produced fruitcakes, despite their promises popularity and worldliness, fall short of the level of scrumptiousness that i believe a fruitcake should possess. just remember, homemade is always the best. second best is fruitcake made by any trappist monks. i don't know about fruitcakes made by nuns, since i have not tasted one... yet.

comestibley yours,

monkey

mad hot dance skills

long before flashy bollywood musicals, fred and ginger tripping the light fantastic or nijinksy shocking audiences in paris, lord shiva was rocking the casbah with his universe shaking choreography. the real lord of the dance's signature solo destroys all ills and evil while welcoming a new era or peace, hope and happiness. the original blue man with 4 arms, great threads and flair with make-up who is a sure winner on dancing with the gods.

happy diwali!

how they met

it's end of week one of the nablopomo and as far as i can tell no one has been injured.

as a little treat i was going to interview fellow nablopomo participant matt of sporky.net, but, since he was busy, i interviewed his co-blogger rebecca about him. here's an excerpt my upcoming tell-all unauthorized biography of matt called "sporky - life as a hybrid"

monkey: rebecca, how did you first meet matt?

rebecca: it was several years ago on the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy website. the site was founded by douglas adams and friends, and after he died, the BBC took it over. matt and i met in Asteroid Lil's Atelier. we were discussing important events, world politics and cookies in the salon with the other guests, when we struck up a friendship that lasts to this day. several months after we met, he asked me to post on his blog, sporky.net

monkey: cookies in the salon, you say? it is true that you and matt toyed that very name for your all accordion band?

rebecca: well, not really.

for more of my hard hitting interview style, check out my interview of jodi bloom of so charmed at crafty query.

please take bow!

there are many things i love on a chilly autumn day; watching my neighbor rake his leaves as i sip a cup of spiced tea, slurping a mug tomato soup after playing in a pile fallen leaves or nibbling a grilled cheese sandwich after re-raking up my neighbor's leaves back into a pile. still, the one thing that always hits the spot and does not involve foliage of any kind is my homemade onion soup.

the sweet aroma as it simmers, the first glorious sip, sopping up of the final drop with the last bite of crusty bread! ahh! i could never capture that in a recipe. for me, it's more of a dance with whatever onions, stock, herbs and spices show up for the audition. the accompanying cheese and crouton pas de deux is a spur of the moment improv. i wish i could say i was the baryshnikov of the soup world, but, despite my solid technique, lyrical interpretation and nice turn out, my performance is inconsistent.

yet,cloistered in her kitchen, my pal rebecca has honing her own technique and has finally stepping center stage for off off off off off off (off) broadway premier at new west's "the big sky buffet" with her groundbreaking yet sublime solo piece "blue onion soup." i'd love to stay and chat, but, i must dash off to give her a congratulatory bouquet and baguette.

bravo rebecca! bravo!!! i can only hope she will be doing pie for her encore.

graphs + information = learning fun

today i was treated to a meeting chock-full-of monochromatic graphs accompanied by more facts and figures than you can shake a medium weight stick at. as you know, i take pride in my ability to be fully present and come away with some little gem of knowledge from any situation.

this is what i learned today:

1. the lady next to me is skilled in the art of styrofoam cup sculpting using only her thumbnail.
2. from the conference room i have a panoramic view of an open field inhabited by two majestic hawks and one less field mouse.
3. singing puppets or dancing robots (or both) would have made the meeting memorable.
   

now, more confused than ever

as a socially responsible primate, i like to stay abreast of local initiatives, so, i tuned-in to a roundtable discussion about a complicated issue on tomorrow's ballot. thank goodness the moderator immediately pointed out that "it is important that voters remember that voting yes means that you are voting no and voting no means that you are voting yes."

now, that was simple, wasn't it?

sunday sunday, can't trust that day.

today was going to be the day I spend updating my website from a halloween spectacular to something soothing and autumnal. since nothing says autumn like spice cake i decided to make one. naturally, only the freshest ingredients are worthy of my friend inga's mother's swedish spice cake, so, i trotted off to the store with a grocery list in hand. after procuring ground ginger, sour cream and other delights, i felt the calling to drop by the office supply store and get one of those plastic mats that goes on the carpet under your rolly-chair so that it glides with ease. it's a calling that many of us have.

while i was less than enthused that they could not gift wrap it for me, i delivered it to the delighted recipient just before my tummy announce it was snack time. my local ind-pak sweet shop was on the wasy home so i could not resist stopping in to get some gulub-jamun and saffron burfi. to my delight all the nearby shops had big sales for diwali. how could i pass up the chance to shop for a new sari for a friend, some bangles or a bollywood dvd? obviously i couldn't. after a healthy dose of window shopping it really was time for a snack, so, i headed home and enjoyed my sweets with a cup of tea. as everyone knows after snack time comes nap time. invigorated by a nap, i was drawn to peruse my social calendar and i soon found myself making lists of movies i haven't seen, exhibits at the museum that are coming up and other festivities i needed to pencil in to my diary. phone calls needed to be returned, snacks needed to be prepared, i needed to sit in the park and watch the sun go down. now, i'm faced with a blank page and i am have to come up with something witty to blog about for today's post. this will no doubt side track me from my spice cake baking!

i'm begining to think it's an urban legend that god took sunday off to rest. i don't know how he did it.

help! i'm losing an hour!

spring forward and fall back - is it a delightful sequence of dance moves or a cunning plan to steal an hour from me? it's both!

what i want to know is where are all these hours going? think of it. i lose and hour, you lose an hour. all our friends lose an hour. somewhere there warehouses of hours that were snatched away from us in the night. yes, i know, they (who ever they are) say the return those house in the spring, but, i'm never really sure if i get my hour back or it's someone else's. it always looks a little bit worn around the edges than i remember it and it's listless for days. occasionally i get one back that is much too boisterous, makes a little too much noise before dawn and stays up way too late. but soon drifts into a slovenly lifestyle of laying around the pool, taking non-stop on the phone and littering the kitchen with pizza boxes. i don't need to tell you what an ordeal it is to exchange the obviously wrong hour for the right one. by the time you get through all the red tape that hour is falling back to wherever hours fall to and the whole ugly process starts again.

i really prefer the dance step. its a real crowd pleaser in a pas de deux!

happy deviled egg day!

you'd think deviled egg day would be the day after easter? but, i guess it's today so that we can use the left over hard boiled eggs made for our trick or treaters. despite the demonic name, deviling an egg has nothing to do with unholy possession or selling ones yolk to satin. it refers to any food being purred with hot spices.

classic deviled eggs feature egg yolks mixed with mayonnaise, pepper, and mustard. contemporary culinary adventurers have taken them to new heights with additions of everything from wasabi, crab meat, salmon, and caviar to cheese, salsa, chutney, truffles and exotic spices.

so, dust off your deviled egg trays and start deviling! i know i am!

the day after halloween

halloween is over, all my costumes are put away, the inside of my jack-o-lantern is thick with soot and i'm just starting to hit a sugar slump from sampling my trick-or-treating loot. it's time to haul in the giant inflatable pumpkin with cat and animtronic bats and drag out the light up turkey with realistic gobbling sound and pre-preprogrammed pilgrim that waves his ax and says "happy thanksgiving!" it won't be long before the self-tinseling fiber-optic christmas trees will emerge festooned with color co-ordinated ornaments with audio enhanced rotating stand. the stockings with digital photo display will be hung by the gas hearth and a store bought sugar cookie and a bottle of fancy water will be left for santa.

i love a good radio controlled ghost and 2 story tall turkey as much as the next primate. but, i love turkeys made from hand silhouettes, real christmas trees, carefully strung popcorn chains and handmade halloween costumes even more.

so, if you are trick-or-treating at my house next year and want to score the good candy just show up covered with stuffing from an old pillow and making baahing like a sheep, or draped in a pillow case with uneven eye holes, or wearing only your mother's wedding veil, a unitard and a garland of flowers or anything else that says "i spent hours making this and it's the best costume ever!" (if it's ok with your mom, you can have a home made muffin. she can have one too if she's wearing a costume.) hurry up! halloween is just under a year away! let's get designing!

no flossing necessary!

you know i like a good story and that good dental hygiene is important to me. so, i was delighted to find a post by on boingboing.net to a podcast at escape pod featuring a talking electric toothbrush. so, grab a beverage, hit play and enjoy. (you may want to listen with headphones to keep your appliances from listening in.)

ask monkey - cheesey rivalry?

Dear Monkey,

Is there some rivalry between goats and sheep
when it comes to the cheese department?

Always and forever,

Cheese Lover

dear cheese lover,

sadly, many cow-based cheese products would like you to think so. but, nothing is farther from the truth. goat and sheep cheeses have always lived happily besides one another in perfect harmony. they share similar interests and qualities such as tanginess, compassion and humility. i believe it is this humility that keeps these fine cheese from stealing the lime-light away from the boisterous celebrity cow cheeses that monopolize the cheese counters today.

while some cows have hired large pr firms to assure that they stay in the public's eye, goats and sheep prefer a more personal approach of getting to know their public personally. they are more emotionally secure cheeses always available for a taste but, are not offended if their unique flavor, texture or aroma is not to the tasters liking. it's a big world for them and they know that for everyone that does not fancy their cheesy goodness, someone else has sworn undying devotion to them.

so, next time you pass by a manchego, a feta or pecorino, stop and say hello. get to know these cheese and see if a spark of a friendship kindles. don't listen to those cow cheeses that speak ill of their cheese case companions. they are insecure and afraid they will loose their market dominance. if they would only take a moment to reach out and understand their artisanal neighbors they will see that the cheese counter is big enough for every type of cheese regarless of their age or origin.

similar rumors surrounding the yogurt and butter sections of the dairy case are also unfounded.

i think i'll go whip up a grilled cheese with cheddar, feta and manchego and hope that one day, all cheese will live in melty harmony as they do in my sandwich.

cheesily yours,

monkey

happy new year!

new year's day is so complicated.

first, tradition calls for ringing in the new year with festivities that last well past every one's usual bedtime. for many responsible adults this includes the consumption of handcrafted adult beverages, beer, wine and it's vivacious cousin champagne.

the next tradition is to make a resolution of some sort. it's always best to wait until after the effects of the alcohol are gone, any hangover has worn off and one feels fresh and chipper before stepping on the slippery slopes of resolutions land.

many will have no problem making their resolution for this year. the threat of having one's drivers license revolved for drunken driving has a sobering effect when comes to resolutions.

other will go with the stalwart trio - lose weight, quit smoking, exercise and get in shape and statistics show that by march they will be putting the same resolution on the to-do list for next year.

if you haven't made your resolutions yet, might i suggest something a wee bit more creative. there is no rule saying the a new years resolution needs to be boring. resolve to bake a different pie every sunday afternoon and have friends over to enjoy it. resolve to say hello to one stranger a day. resolve to do one thing a a month you have always wanted to do - or at least resolve to start a list of things you've always wanted to do.

or resolve to not resolve!

happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful new year to all!

you can always find me

drop by and say "hi! monkey!"