phone home

i spent the entire evening talking on my telelphone. my ears are sore, my lips are weary and i can't tell if i'm more tired of talking or listening. but, i still love my telephone!

it has two separate lines - one that everyone calls and one secret hotline. it has a speaker phone, a phone book, room monitoring, speakerphone, intercom and conference calling. it dials my alarm company in an emergency all by itself. it tells me who's calling and has a repertoire of ringtones that range from subtle and unobtrusive to blatantly annoying. it has three handsets, one of which is a loner that hides out in the sofa cushions until his battery is dead. i'm sure the base unit is the ringleader among my home appliances and suspect he orders take-away food when i'm not home.

now, everyone's batteries are low and it's time to tuck everyone into their cradles, hit their "do not disturb" buttons and say good night. it's time for my voice mail to have some fun!